I've been hearing a lot about the "Left Behind: Eternal Forces" video game lately, so I decided to write a review.  About halfway through writing the scathing review, I wondered if I should maybe play the game before bashing it.  After all, "honesty in reporting" and all that good stuff.  The first obstacle was that I had to purchase the game to play it.  It's about $40 at Target which isn't that much for a video game, but it also comes with a non-optional copy of the first "Left Behind" novel which is worth about negative $100 which means a fair price would be for them to pay me to take it home. I just couldn't get myself to buy it - financially or figuratively.

Then I heard there was a free demo of the game, so off to the Internets to find which information tube it could be found in. After much Googling and prayer, I was finally able to download a copy from FilePlanet without having to register or pay a fee.  It was around 200 megabytes so it took a couple of hours to download on my slow speed DSL connection (see previous post).

Installation

The installation went fairly smoothly.  The only notable thing was in the End User's License Agreement (EULA).  I usually accept the EULAs that come with programs I install without so much as a glance - as I'm sure do 99% of other users as well.  I thought I would read this one just in case, though, and sure enough, it has some interesting clauses. 

Paragraph 29 states that by clicking the "agree" button "the user agrees to renounce all affiliations with Evil and any minions thereof and to accept Jesus Christ as his/her Lord and Saviour."  In the appendices, it defines "Evil" as "Any person, entity, or object relating to Satanic beliefs - also referred to as leftist, liberal, or progressive in political jargon.  This includes all religions other than Christianity, and any entities that do not endorse all policies of the President of the United States, George W. Bush. This definition is subject to change or update at any time without notice and at our sole discretion. The game licensee is solely responsible for checking the Left Behind website regularly for any future updates to this document, and said user preemptively agrees to abide by any and all of the aforementioned changes and/or updates"

Paragraph 137 states that the end user agrees "not to be gay or sympathize with any gay thing, be it actual homosexuality or the more colloquial use of the term connoting 'lameness' or the act of being 'not cool'."

I clicked the "I agree" button and then had a gay thought which immediately invalidated the EULA and meant that I would have to play the game illegally.  Oh well.

Cinematography, gameplay, and other aspects are reviewed after the fold. 


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