There - I said it. I will own it.

I hate Sarah Palin and I think she is a cunt. 

I am sorry Ms. Palin that you did not win your bid to be out first female vice-president. 

But the sad fact is that you are a crazy bitch that most Americans couldn't vote for in their right minds. 

I am sorry Ms. Palin that crazy Republicans have filled your head with lies making you think you are relevant in today' society - you aren't.

The mature thing for her to do - after her defeat - was to support the President.

But no - the bitch had to go to the Tea Bagger's pathetic convention and talk a ton of shit about PRESIDENT Obama.

Talk about your sour grapes. She could have taken the high road, but she didn't - which is what I expect of Republicans.

She lambasted the President with her poor grammar and even poorer choice in clothes.

And you know what bitch? NO ONE CARES!

President Obama is a gazillion times better than what you and your grandpa would have done in office. You would have been worse than Dan Quayle!

You would have been the LAUGHING STOCK of the world.

I am sure you thought you could hurt President Obama's feelings talking shit about how he can't get things changed in the government. You know why he can't?

Becuase dumbass Republicans - like you - are acting like babies and stomping their feet.

Good job - now you can look like more of a jackass than people already think you are!

What a a pathetic pile of she Palin is - that bitch will NEVER be in the White House and she knows it.

Please Ms. Palin - take the 600 or so sacks of shit that attended the terrorist meeting you called a revolution and shove them up your ass - cause that's where they belong.

The REAL revolution is coming and you will have to take your medicine when you are left behind.

Much love,

Jim

JCSI 

I had a thought the other day regarding the whole gay marriage bullshit that has been going on lately.

Why don't we - the gays - just marry them - the lesbians? 

I mean, we don't have to live together, eat together or hell even fuck together. 

We can just get married - in a proper church and all to boot!

They won't know what hit them - and the most beautiful part of this is that there isn't a fucking thing the right wing can do about it. 

If Lucy Lesbian and I (a flaming male homosexual) want to go down to City Hall to get married there is NOTHING they can do to stop it. 

Then I could get on the lesbian's insurance!  (Or vice versa...)

It is brilliant! Then I can have my very own loveless, sexless marriage! I will be just like everyone else. 

But do I marry a lipstick lesbian or a butch one? 

There I have fixed the problem - now all of you fabulous gay boys go out there and corral a little lesbo for your very own! I fully expect to be invited to all of your weddings! 

Much love, 

Jim

JCSI

As a small business owner, I had a thought the other day.

Why the fuck do churches get non-profit status? 

They are a business just like I am and they don't have to pay shit in taxes. 

I call bullshit. Make those fuckers pay taxes on the money they rake in and you will see an instant boom to our economy. 

Why does the government give these bullshit artists the right to scam people's money tax free? 

I am highly offended. 

I suppose the state would shit bricks if they truly knew how much money these assholes coveted for themselves. 

Having worked side-by-side with a pastor before, I always wondered how he could sleep at night knowing he took money from his congregation and spent it on a Mercedes and a $500,000 house. 

Nice. Way to go fucker. 

Maybe the people that freely give up their hard earned cash don't want any records of what the bastards do with the money - cause let me tell you they aren't sending it to Africa. Those poor people are STILL starving to death. 

And if you REALLY want to see how much your church loves you, don't give them one fucking thin dime. Then see how much they bless you and whisper your name to God. 

They will talk shit about you and condemn you to hell. 

Just go to the sermon, listen to the tirade, and then get up and leave. Don't put cash or an envelope of cash in the coffer. 

Watch them give you the stank eye and you will soon learn that money = love. 

Well kids, I have to go spend my money on porn and chocolate. 

Escalader, 

Jim

JCSI

Just the other day on Facebook my friend Matt sent me a message. 

It read as follows - ""Just passed Kathy Griffin in the hall at our hotel. Thought you would appreciate that info as much or more than anyone else we know."

I responded - " OH YOUR GOD! Did you tell her I love her?"

Then he responded - "We walked right past her. Then we had that moment where we both said omg was that Kathy Griffin? I walked thru the casino a few minutes later to try an find her but to no avail. I was going to tell her I needed her pic for my gay friend as I am no fan personally :)"

Then I responded - " Wait - why do I have to be your gay friend? Why couldn't you just say your friend is a huge fan? Why did I get an adjective? I never talk about you as my straight friend Matt.."

I gave you this dialogue because this is not the first time I have been introduced as Gay Jim and it infuriates me!

My dumb sister used to do it to me all the time. "Hello _____, this is my gay brother Jim." 

And just like Matt, she never understood why I got pissed off each time she did it. I think she thought she was actually doing me a favor by outing me to anyone and everyone. 

Why does the heterosexual community - let me correct that - some people in the heterosexual community think it is necessary to out their gay friends/family members? 

It's not like I use an adjective to describe my friends to other people for the first time. I respect them far too much to do that to them. 

Then Matt went on to say this - "Because she is Kathy griffin. If u met Jenny McCarthy that has straight guy value. I think it's the same. Had I met a sexual preference neutral icon like Bono I'd have left the adjective off."

I call bullshit. If I ever met Jenny McCarthy I would never tell her about Matt not would I ever say that my straight friend loves her.

It is this type of insensitivity that I have had to put up with for way too long. 

The bullshit stops here. 

It is time for GLBT everywhere to start the revolution and let the S community know it is not OK to treat us/me like this. 

The war is coming folks, get prepared. 

Much love, 

Jim

JCSI

As an Atheist, I feel I get challenged on my beliefs more than most people. 

When I tell people I don't believe in God or any of the hullabalo associated with any religion, people usually gasp and then proceed to berate me and my beliefs simply because the are afraid to evaluate their own beliefs. 

While I have always respected people's choice to worship, I feel that my choice to not believe is always persecuted. 

So I have come up with my own ten commandments, or more to the point, my top ten beliefs. 

They may seem silly to you and I could really care less. These are my beliefs.

1. Treat people the way you want to be treated. 

2. Don't lie to people. 

3. Love yourself.

4. If it feels right, do it. 

5. Don't tell other people how to live their lives. 

6. Don't hit people. 

7. Don't park in a handicapped space if you are not handicapped. 

8. Pay your taxes. 

9. Don't let someone tell you how to feel. 

10. Having one best friend who will love you for you and and your faults is the ultimate gift. 

These ten rules keep me safe and sane. 

Don't worry, my diatribe about how religion is sick and twisted is coming. 

Much love, 

Jim

So its the holiday season...and everyone loves to exclaim their love for the season.

I have noticed two trends this holiday season:

1. People have abandoned saying "Happy Holidays" - the always non-offensive season greetings - for the more traditional "Merry Christmas!."

2. They like to yell it at an ear-piercing decibel. 

And they will yell it at the drop of a hat. 

I was in Borders today - and will probably never go back, but that is another story for another post - and this hooker looking mom looked at me wrong. As I narrowed my eyes, she exclaimed - as if she had a hidden bullhorn under her larynx - "Merry Christmas!." Like just the expression should make me lose my holiday rage and I should let her scamper away without throwing her some shade. 

Soon after that, I stopped by Lacefield Music to get some holiday sheet music for a friend of mine and this geriatric trio of hens walked past me and screamed, "Merry Christmas!" I responded back to them "Good Solstice to you!" 

The looks of horror on their faces was fucking priceless. 

Their mouths were agape with drool dripping out of the corners. It was as if I shat on the ground and asked them to smell it. One of them - the only one that didn't have blue hair - stammered out a question to me. "Wh.wh.wh.wh.what did you say dear?"  I responded, "Good Solstice to you!" 

They looked at each other like they were communicating via telepathy like in Invasion of the Body Snatchers. They clutched their fake minks by the collar and hobbled away into the store. 

I am not 100% positive, but I think I heard one of the old birds exclaim to the other, "I wonder if he is a terrorist." 

Yeah, me ... a terrorist. Sadly, this is not the first time I have been mistaken for a terrorist. 

And yes, terrorists celebrate Winter Solstice. 

I am proud to be a non-conformist and I am proud to believe in what I believe - which that will be coming in a soon future post. 

Until then kids, "Good Solstice to you!"

And for the record - and the kicker here is I don't believe in Solstice and I have no idea when the Solstice occurs. I just knew it would rile those old birds up - and it did. Mission accomplished. 

Merry (whatever) to me!

Much love, 

Jim

JCSI

On my way to the shop this morning I started to daydream....about my wedding. 

Don't get too excited, HB has not popped the big question yet, but a boy can still dream right?

First of all, I began to dream about the ceremony. It won't be in a farkakte church or anything like that - it would probably be in the backyard complete with dog poop and chew toys all over the yard - cause that's how I roll. 

There won't be a ton of people - just the ones we want there. 

The ceremony would probably be performed by some lesbian civil servant who is all legal to perform the ceremony.There will be no mention of BS higher powers,or destiny, or fate. It would more like be, "Do you take him? Yes. Do you take him? Yes. Fine now give me a hundred bucks so I can stamp this puppy."

Then the party afterwords would be off the hook. Comfort foods and groovy music for the rest of the night. 

Pretty simple. Pretty amazing. 

But the icing on the cake would be when HB and I have our first dance as husband and husband. 

We would dance to "Come What May" from Moulin Rouge. 

That would make Jen cry and make the whole night a huge success. 

But thanks to the voters of Missouri and their closed minded views of how people should live their lives (thank Pope!) this dream will never happen. 

No, I don't deserve to marry who I want or live my life how I want because Missouri voters' minds are too polluted and controlled by the church. 

So while I personally have a "live and let live" type of belief system, the majority of the morons in Missouri believe that they should be able to tell me what to do with my life. Assholes. 

Better living through mind control I guess. 

Then I ate an egg McMuffin and all was right in the world. 

Much love, 

Jim

JCSI

Something that REALLY pisses me the fuck off is when people talk in movie theaters.

I don't pay almost ten bucks to listen to YOUR personal soundtrack to the movie.

Case in point - HB and I went to go see 2012. To the left of us was a young couple whose snuggling and cooing made me want to wretch. She obviously thought she had a more insightful take on the movie as she droned on about bullshit that really didn't make much sense. And while she was doing that, her sleazy boyfriend was groping her double d's. Talk about ramming shit down other people's throats. 

Then there were the idiots behind us that yelled out Woody Harleson's name every time he appeared on the screen. 

For real?

You REALLY need to do that? I mean the man is an actor and he appears in other movies as well. (Side note: My personal favorite Woody movie is Natural Born Killers.)

Then there are the bitches that like to scream shit out to the screen like "Don't go in there!" and "What are you doing girl?"

For real. They can't hear you - but I can. 

I know you think you are being cute and funny, but no. You are just being a dumb bitch. Noone cares what you think - so please just shut the fuck up. 

That is one of the reasons I don't go to church - I would probably do the same thing.

While everyone is enjoying the preacher's show, I would be yelling shit like, "Liar!" and "Bullshit!".

And its out of respect that I don't go there and do that so please don't do your shit around me. 

About the only thing more annoying that talking in a movie is when people CONSTANTLY check their cell phones during the movie. YOU ARE NOT TITANS OF INDUSTRY! YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEXT YOUR HOS THAT YOU ARE IN A MOVIE! 

Much love, 

Jim

JCSI

Things are going very well at the shop. Lots of happy painters and lots of full tables.

I have been working like 18 hours days and loving every moment of it. 

The bad side is my dogs are latchkey dogs - they hardly get any attention. 

But I am going home tonight while my awesome night manager watches the shop. 

I am going to do laundry and play with the dogs - and get to be super early. 

I don't think I have ever been happier. 

Life is good. 

Much love, 

Jim

JCSI

Hey kids - I am coming back. With a vengeance I might add. 

I have had a ton of things I have wanted to blog about, but have not had the time. 

Well that shit is about to end, cause I have some shit I have to get off my chest and onto my blog. 

So stay tuned you fabulous people cause I am going to be getting real real, real soon. 

Much love, 

Jim